One Year Ago

                I can’t believe that this time last year I was flying over the sea to begin my semester abroad. I remember the fear and anxiety I had. I remember waking up early to go to the airport and looking at my suitcase by my bed. The one that ended up having a lot of things I didn’t need, and lacking a good amount of things that would have come in handy. Staring at it, all I could think was, “What have I done?” I remember saying goodbye and crying for the entire two hours of my first flight, leaving the poor man next to me looking rather uncomfortable. I remember my mother choking out the bit of A. A. Milne’s quote, “you’re braver than you believe” before being unable to finish the rest. I know it’s dramatic, but for a girl who likes to play things safe, this just seemed like a really bad idea. I had been stretched and grown through the circumstances that God had placed in my life already, but it is a very different thing to willingly choose something that you know will cause you to grow and change. That decision started the adventure that was five months of living abroad in the beautiful city of Chester. You saw the pictures, or you may have read my recorded thoughts as my journey took place. There were no lightning bolts of maturity or deep spiritual struggles, but I learned how to take care of myself a little more, I learned what matters to me, I’ve learned to ask for help, I’ve seen things I’d only seen in pictures and on movie screens, and I have friends scattered all over the world now. I’ve learned to put up with a lot of hard mattresses, bizarre bus rides, sore feet, and I’m not afraid of airports anymore (still not a fan of the bus thing though). I’ve better learned how to turn to God when I feel alone and scared, because people, even those who love me most, aren’t enough. I’ve now come to find myself looking back on last year more afraid and anxious than ever. It’s a fear of a different kind. It contains my unknown future, it plays off of my insecurities, and it is inconsiderate of my fragile heart. It just goes to show that every day and every year there are new struggles and new fears to overcome. Each one feels overwhelming and terrifying at the time, but even so, his mercies “are new every morning” (Lamentations 3:22-23). Looking back to one year ago, I am thankful for the opportunity I had, for the courage God granted me to take that step, for the experiences, the friends, the lessons learned, and the continual guidance He will have on my life. I called it my adventure, and it was, but it was only a part of it. It jump-started what feels like a new stage to my life, one that has been difficult and frightening, yet which has caused me to grow and trust in Him on a level I hadn’t thought I needed before. To any of you considering travel, even just a bit, take your chances and go. You never know what you will learn or see or who you will meet, but it will open your mind and heart to so many things. It is a risk, it is a change, it is enthralling, it is painfully mundane, it is expensive, and it will have consequences, but more than likely, it will be worth it.